A couple weeks ago, Jesus began to really speak to me about
the concept of living with open hands.
When He first mentioned it I thought it
was cool, but I didn’t really understand it. I didn’t really know what it meant
to have open hands before the Lord. I know that I still don’t understand it
fully. I feel that it is a concept that is going to take time and struggle to
really grasp and mature in.
When Jesus first told me that he wanted to teach me how to
live life with open hands I was excited. I was very much ready to be taught. I
was eager to live with open hands. I felt like open hands went so well with my
“Yes” lifestyle. I thought I could totally do it. I committed to living with
open hands.
Fast-forward a week.
I arrive in LA. Tabitha is at school and I am at her house
resting. Tabitha’s house mate, Miriam, and I begin to chat. What started out as
very normal “get to know you” conversation turns into her “reading my mail” so
to speak and speaking over my life. At the end of our beautiful, encouraging,
challenging conversation she asked to pray with me. Of course I said yes! Who
doesn’t love prayer!? Little did I know, my entire understanding of living with
open hands was about to be wrecked.
"God, give her grace to live with open hands..."
WHAT? You just prayed about something that Jesus has been speaking to me about when I have told no one. And you prayed that I would have grace to do it...
I can't explain why that little sentence wrecked my mindset, but it did.
Do me a favor please.
While you read the rest of this post, please clinch one of
your fists. Hold your hand closed as tightly as you can. I know that this is a
long read, but I think it will help to prove my point.
What does it mean to live with open hands?
When I looked up this word I was blown away with the
definition. HUGE. The word is defined in many different ways and in many
different uses of the word. They all so beautifully demonstrate what this
concept looks like though. I couldn’t bear to leave them out! It’s a lot
though, I know.
Open:
1. Allowing access, passage, not closed or blocked
up, not fastened or sealed. With the outer edges or sides drawn away from each
other; unfolded. (of a book or file) with the covers parted or the contents in
view, allowing it to be read.
If I am going to live a life with open hands, I must allow
access to every area of my heart. I must give God total access to my life. My
heart, areas of my life, cannot be blocked off or sealed shut. I have sisters
and mentors in my life who have total access to my life. They know who they are
and they drive me to live a life of vulnerability and transparency. (They do
their job well!!! HA!) To live with open hands means that God can have access
to every part of my life. He can go where ever He wants to go. Nothing is off
limits. My sisters and mentors know that they can ask me any question and I will
answer completely and honestly. They know that they can point out any area of
my life that is out of order. They challenge me and push me to maturity.
Jesus, you have total access to my life. You may go wherever
you want to go. My life, heart, finances, and desires are closed or blocked off
from you. My heart is not sealed off from you. You have total access.
2. Exposed to the air or to view; not covered. (Of
a team member in a game) unguarded and therefore able to receive a pass. (Of a
goal or other object of attack in a game) unprotected; vulnerable. (Open to)
likely to suffer from or be affected by; vulnerable or subject to. (Of a town
or city) officially declared to be undefended, and so immune under international
law from bombardment. (Of a question, case, or decision) not finally settled;
still admitting of debate. (Of a person) frank and communicative; not given to
deception or concealment. Involving no concealment, restraint, or deception;
welcoming discussion, criticism, and inquiry, (of a question, case, or
decision) not finally settled; still admitting of debate. (Of the mind)
accessible to new ideas; unprejudiced (open to) receptive to. Come into
view; spread out before someone
To
be open is scary sometimes because it means being exposed. If I am going to
live with open hands it means that I cannot cover anything in my life. I cannot
try to hide from Jesus. I cannot hide from being accountable with people in my
life. I am vulnerable with sisters in my life. This vulnerability seems scary at
the time that it is taking place, but it brings so much security an safety in
the long run. Being known is a beautiful thing. I do not try to defend myself
when I am living with open hands. Open hands cannot hold a weapon or a shield.
I must trust that Jesus is my defender when I live with open hands. I must
trust that He is guarding me. He is the one protecting me when I feel
vulnerable. Openness means that I realize that until I get to heaven I will not
have it all together. I will always need someone there to ask me the hard
questions. I will always need the Holy Spirit to convict me and change me.
3. (Of a
hand) not clenched into a fist. (Of a bank account) available for transactions.
(Of a telephone line) ready to take calls. (Of a choice, offer, or opportunity)
still available; such that people can take advantage of it
I
don’t hold on to anything. There is nothing in my life that I cling to besides
Jesus. My hands are always open. I am constantly ready for transactions, God
pouring into me and me pouring out into others, me pouring my worship out on
him. I am always open for Him to take things out of my life that don’t belong
there. Open hands means me saying, “God, anything that is not bringing you
glory, take it out of my life.” I don’t cling to my time or sleep or wants. I
am available for people. I am available to be used by God.
When we have open hands, God can take things with out having
to pry our fingers off of them. He can also give us things. We are ready to
surrender and receive at any moment.
Consequences of not living with open hands:
1. God cannot use you to accomplish all that He wants to
because you are not making yourself available.
2. You cannot receive all that He has for you.
3. It is a long painful process when the Holy Spirit wants
to remove something from your life.
4. Secrecy that leads to fear and in some cases sin/bondage.
Clinging to anything, whether it is a secret in you heart, a
habit, addiction, fear, sin, dream, desire, goal, whatever it is, is dangerous
for you and sometimes for those around you as well. It is an injustice to
yourself for sure. I am sure that by this point, your hand is pretty tired of
being clinched. I’m sure it is starting to hurt a little. The blood isn’t
flowing correctly. Your fingernails may be digging into your palm. That’s what
happens to you spiritually when you live with areas of your life closed off.
When you don’t have open hands before the Lord, the life giving blood of His
Spirit cannot flow through you in the areas that you are clinging to.
In a moment you can open your fist, but before you do, think
about the areas of your life that are closed tight. Think about the things in
your life that you have been clinging to. When you let go of your fist, imagine
yourself letting go of all of that. Just release it. See how it feels.
Go ahead, let go of your fist. Let go of the things you are
clinging to. Let go. Choose to have open hands.
Openness with others has always been something that I have
struggled with. In the last year though the Lord has really changed that in me.
Being known by people is so freeing. We think that if someone really knew who
we are __________ (Something negative) will happen. However, it is the
opposite. I have found such freedom and healing in being real with sisters in
my life.
Maybe you need to talk to someone. You may need to share a
secret. You may need to just tell someone what you have been clinging to. You
may need to be vulnerable for the first time. Do it. Find someone. Share. Open
your hands and open your life. I challenge you. Live open. It’s freeing.
When you first let go of your fist, you hand may have
started to tingle. The blood began to rush back to your fingers. It may have
been painful. How does your hand feel now? Free? Relaxed? Openness is always
scary at first. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it makes you feel as if your
insides are all fighting to explode out of you. But once you jump off that
cliff and you choose to be open, blood starts to flow again. Oxygen starts to
fill those cells again. Healing happens. It’s freeing.
This year, I want to live with open hands. I want to be able
to look back a year from now and say that there was no area of my heart or life
that was off limits to God. I want to be able to say that I surrendered
everything to Him. I did not cling to anything. Even things that He has given
me are not to be held on to. I want to look back and be able to say that I
received everything from Him that He wanted to give me- the good, easy, fun
blessings, as well as the opportunities to learn how to suffer well. He gives and He takes away, blessed be the
name of the Lord.
God, give me grace to live with open hands. Give me grace to
surrender and to receive. There is nothing that I hold on to. You have total
access to my life. I will follow you wherever you go. Jesus, I will follow you
into the depths of my heart, into every corner and closet in my life. I let go
of all that I have held on to. I repent for clinging to anything that you have
given to me. I repent for thinking that I am strong enough to hold on to
anything in my life. Dreams, secrets, blessings, regrets… I’m not strong enough
to hold on to them. I give it all to you God. I repent for the pride that
caused me to think I could cling to anything in my life. Give me grace to live
with open hands. I will follow you wherever you go.
Will you join me?
