Letter Series: A letter to someone I used to know

Dear Friend,

I sit here on my couch. Spotify is playing my favorite play list, but somehow the annoying house fly is buzzing louder than my laptop speakers will play as it rams itself into the light bulb for the thousandth time. I'm not writing to you to tell you about the dumb fly though. I am writing for my heart. Maybe your heart too. Who knows.

I don't know where you are or what you are doing. I have lots of friends now. I love Missouri. I love my life. I am genuinely happy. I realized last night that I am a really good friend. That was a huge step of healing for me. I am a good friend. I have always been a good friend. I deserve good friends. I think you were a good friend. I know you tried. You were a good friend.

From time to time I think about you. I wonder how you are. I hope you are well. I think about you at random times- like when I am reading an article I think you would enjoy, or when I hear a quote that I know you would love. I think of you when I pull out my paints and begin to create beautiful things. I remember our art day. I remember the railroad tracks. I remember laughing till we cried. I remember crying until we laughed. I remember crying alone. I remember when you told me you heard from God covenant. I remember when you changed your mind. I remember when you heard it again. I remember the hard times. I remember the happy times.

Since that day earlier this year, I have fought to forgive. I have resisted forgiving. I have refused to forgive. I have tried to forgive. And I have fought it harder. But I forgive you. I forgive you. I don't forgive you for your benefit, because you will likely never read this or know. I forgive you for my benefit. Because it hurts more to fight than it does to let go. I think I will feel better if I keep holding on to the unforgiveness, but the truth is, I won't. You have moved on. You don't know where I am. My hurt and bitterness and anger don't affect you. They only affect me. Holding on to that hurt only hurts me more, and we both know that I have been hurt enough. I know who my Father is. I know who I am. I am a good friend. And I choose to forgive. I choose to let go. I forgive you.

If you ever read this, know that I still love you. I wish you well. I am not angry at you. You are free from any weight you may feel. Father is a really good Dad.

And I forgive you.

Love,
Joy

Sin and Grace

We are taught from day one in Sunday School about Adam and Eve and the fall of mankind. Every Sunday preachers dance around the pulpit and hoot and holler about Romans 3:23 and how sin separates us from God. We all can quote the verses in the "Roman's Road" and we know how to prove to sinners that they deserve hell because they have "missed the mark". 

And then we sin. 

We fail.

We give in to temptation. 

and

We dive headfirst into a sea of condemnation.

God says that He throws our sin into a sea of forgetfulness, but we just don't believe it. 

We are the exception.

Can we rewind for a moment? 

Can we revisit that Bible story we all know so well?

Genesis 3 (Paraphrase)

The snake pays the woman a little visit (She has not been named Eve yet. 

This little snake says, "So woman, did God really tell you that you can't eat from the trees in this beautiful garden?" 

Our woman friend was like, "No. We can eat from all of the trees except for this one little tree in the middle of this huge garden. We can't even touch that tree cause we will die." 

Mr. Snake was sneaky, he exclaimed, "You won't REALLY die!! You'll actually become gods! You will know good and evil."

Now, if you are a woman, you know that we are prone to having moments of weakness from time to time... Oh what I wouldn't give for ice cream on a hot summer day!! The woman in our story had a moment just like that!

The woman saw the tree and the fruit of the tree and realized that it looked pretty darn good. Her mouth began to water and her stomach growled.  She decided to take a bite. Then she shared it with her hubby. 

If you are a woman, you know that if you are going to give in to that ice cream sunday you feel a whole heck of a lot better if you have a friend who will give in to it with you! That's what she did. 

As soon as Adam and the woman ate from the tree, their eyes were open and they realized that they were completely naked!  Uh oh!  "This is awkward!" they thought, "We need some sort of clothes!" So they made themselves some nice, organic, eco friendly clothing to wear.

Here is my favorite part... You ready for it? Get ready!

They hear God's footsteps. Just like every other day before, God comes down and calls out to Adam. 

Just like every other day.

Just like God did the day before.

Just like God did.

Always.

Always Had.

God came down to hang out. 

Just like he always had done.

Before they disobeyed.

Before they sinned.

God came down to hang out.

Did God not know they disobeyed Him?

Did God miss the memo that sin separates us from Him? 

Did God skip class the day the teacher taught on how God is supposed to turn His back on the bad little humans who have a moment (or a lifetime) of sin?

Was God confused?

(The place where the Devil lives) 

No. 

Adam and the woman hear God coming. 

They freak out.

"Oh crap. We messed up!" 

They ran and hid from the presence of God.

Adam and the woman hid.

Adam and the woman separated themselves from God.

The worst part about sin is that is causes us to separate ourselves from God. 

Our shame, our guilt, our condemnation.

We run from God.

God wants to meet with us 5 seconds after we have fed our addiction just as much as he wants to meet with us the day that we lead 12 people to the Lord, baptize 8, and spend 7 hours in the prayer room. 

God isn't afraid of our sin. 

God isn't ashamed of our nakedness. 

We are the ones who make the nakedness awkward. 

We are the ones who turn our backs.

We are the ones who separate ourselves. 

We do.

Not God.

Us.

When we sin or are tempted to sin the we need to run boldly into the throne room of God. 

Not hide from it. 

Hebrews 4:16 

ESV- Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

ISV- So let us KEEP ON COMING boldly to the throne of grace, so that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

YLT- We may come near, then, with freedom, to the throne of the grace, that we may receive kindness, and find grace--for seasonable help.

NLT- So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. 

Get the point?

God wants us. 

He doesn't want our show.

He doesn't want to see how good we can be.

He wants us. 

Just because I know that some will disagree with this...

Yes, we need to live lives of holiness. 

Yes, we need to obey God.

Yes.

When eradicating sin is your focus, sin will be your identity.

When loving Jesus is your focus, holiness will be your identity. 

I have found more freedom from temptation than I ever have before when I just fell in love with Jesus. 

When Jesus is the center of my attention, sin doesn't get my attention.

The last thing I want to mention is about Romans 3:23.

We all know it. 

"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." 

Honestly, I could go on to talk about the following verses that make this point, 

but I just want to focus on the one verse right now.

Come short---> hystereō

It means to come late or tardily to. 

We come late to the glory of God. 

Glory of God ---> Doxa

A most glorious condition, most exalted state

Of that condition with God the Father in heaven to which Christ was raised after he had achieved his work on earth

The glorious condition fo blessedness into which is appointed and promised that true Christians shall enter after their Savior's return from heaven

Yes, we must repent when we sin. That is a given. I am in no way saying that we can live in sin with no consequences. The Bible clearly states that there are eternal consequences for sin. But what I am saying is that our sin shouldn't cause us to run and hide in a closet away from God. 

I feel that the body of Christ as a whole has done a huge injustice to broken people. 

Sinners sin.

Christians sin.

We sin.

But we have no reason to separate ourselves from God when He is walking through the garden calling us. He still wants us. Even in our sin.

Final thought:

What would have been different if Adam and Eve had not hidden from God? 

Do you think that things may have been different had they repented right there?

Obviously there would have still needed to be a sacrifice... Jesus was sacrificed before the foundation of the earth. 

But would anything have been different? 

Let me know what you think. :)

Seasons are Changing & 70 times 7

I don't have anything pretty and put together to write about. In fact, I don't even know where to start today. I'll probably just end up rambling.
I know that seasons are changing though. You know that transition between seasons when in the mornings and nights is kind of cool and you want a jacket, but in the middle of the day it is so hot and humid that you just want to hide away. You are wishing summer away and praying for winter to be here soon. You can't wait until the next season. The transition sucks.
Well, that's where I am right now. It sucks. Bad. I find my self trying to hurry things along, but I know that this transition has to happen. I have to let time do its thing.
I wish I could share everything that is on my heart, but I am not yet in a place where I can do that. And honestly, if I tried it would probably turn out poorly.
I am learning so much though. So much.
Something that Jesus has been walking me through in the last couple days is the concept of 70 times 7. Forgiveness.
What does that mean?
What I have realized is it isn't about the number. It isn't a formula.
It's in the "Today, I choose to forgive."
The next day,  "Today, I choose to forgive. Even though it still hurts."
The next day, "Today, I choose to forgive. Even though nothing in me wants to forgive."
The day after that, "I choose forgiveness when they hurt me again. I choose forgiveness when all I want to do is make them feel what I feel."
Day 15, "Today, I forgive."
Day 30, "I still forgive."
Day 45,70,300...., "...." Your daily choice to forgive eventually turns into a lifestyle of forgiveness and you don't have to make that conscious decision with that issue any longer.
You forgive them until you no longer need to forgive them.
Do I like this? No. I still want to show them how much I hurt. But today, I choose to forgive.
Today, day 4, I choose to forgive. I choose to let myself be free from the cage of unforgiveness. I choose to forgive even though it hurts. Even though it's not fair. I choose forgiveness, because Jesus forgave me.
70 times 7.

Part one

Having mono really stinks... Having it during finals week makes you feel like dying.

There are several lessons that I am learning right now, but I don't have time or energy to fully explain them all. I really just wanted to quickly get them out so that I can come back later and finish writing though them.

I've been very materialistic lately. "Needing" stuff. Yeah, they are things that I need, but not necessarily at this moment. Things for my trip, dumb things like shampoo... I need it, but could wait another week before buying it, new colored pens (I LOVE new pens, but I don't NEED new ones right now... the ones I have work just fine.) I'm usually not one to just spend money on stuff. Yeah, I am willing to pay to get a pedi every few weeks... but I don't normally just buy stuff to be buying it. I'm usually very picky about what I spend my money on. That's why it has been so weird for me to realize that I am doing this.
Here's the lesson- When I am feeling empty, I look for ways to fill that emptiness. This time it happens to be through buying stuff that I will eventually need. I think that part of it right now stems from being overwhelmed with everything that I need to do for finals. I feel like that by getting stuff I will need for my trip, I am being productive and preparing... when really, I'm just trying to make up for my lack of preparation for my trip. A huge part of the emptiness is caused by my lack of emotional connection to people and ultimately the Lord. Since I am so sick right now the most emotional connection I am getting is with my pillow and my textbooks... I have very limited social interaction. Mom and I have spent a ton of time together, it has been really, really great. But I still am not getting the emotional connection that I really long for. I haven't been spending QUALITY time with the Lord since I got really sick. When I'm awake I'm studying. I've had worship playing... but that's not quality time. We have had some really great moments where I have had divine revelations, but what I am missing is that time where I just sit and wait for him, rest with Him. It's dumb because all I can do right now is rest and study, but I haven't been resting in the right places. I've been resting in front of red box rentals with mom and dad or in bed with notecards and study guides... Not with my bible, journal, pen and Husband. I'm craving the intimacy that brings rest and healing to my soul.

I want to talk more about these next two things after finals, it will give me more time to sort through them and I won't be so tired and pressed for time then either.
One- After Jesus died on the cross, He never mentioned it again. The pain, rejection, agony, or betrayal... He never again spoke of it. Why should we be any different with difficult experiences in our life? This is an intense idea for me... I am so extremely guilty of it. Using past trauma I have experienced as an excuse for why I am where I am now. I will be thinking about what this looks like over the next few days.

Two- When I am praying, am I seeking gifts or the gift giver? What is the purpose of prayer? These questions will be on my mind over the next few days.


I have like 4 new books that I am looking forward to getting back to reading after finals is over.
Really, I'm looking forward to doing a lot of things once finals is over! :)
For now, I am going to shut this down and GO.TO.SLEEP.  

Creator of Creativity

I love to be creative. One thing that I love to do is paint. I stopped for a while and I don't know why. Today, I got to paint with a friend. At first, I was really nervous because she is really good, but I decided to put that aside and just be free. And, to take it a step farther, I painted something that I have NEVER painted before. It really brought me to a place of deep breakthrough though. I wanted to paint a picture that expressed a verse that I have been clinging to lately. "My Grace is sufficient for you. My Strength is made perfect in your weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9 My friend helped to to get a picture of that in my mind, and as I began to paint it, that truth worked it's way into my heart. 
His grace is all that I need. There is no other thing. It is a simple path to Holiness. A simple path to Jesus. His Grace.
Nothing else.
I don't have to strive or work or do a special dance to be good enough or holy enough for Him. I just have to rely on His Grace. His Grace empowers. His Grace releases. His Grace frees. I was freed by Grace today. I know that it is a process of learning to totally depend on His Grace, but I know that today is the day I learned what that means. I am secure in His grace. 
The more I painted, the more that truth sunk deep within me. 


Painting is so therapeutic. It helps to calm your mind. There are no rules in art. It's freeing to be as expressive as you want. The canvas doesn't judge. :-) 


After finishing the first painting, and the second and third both drying to prepare for the next step with them I began to ask some pretty big things from the Lord. I have been praying big prayers lately and I have been getting some pretty big answers too. 
Tomorrow, I want to begin to try to express the fire and love in Jesus' eyes. I'm sure this one will take some time... and a lot of seeking Jesus. :-) But it is something that I want to do.


I was thinking about how much I love to be creative though as I was cleaning up and I just asked God, "God, how creative are you?"... and then He laughed... and I did too. He is the Creator of Creativity! (Mind blown!) He created everything! He created the entire world. He created me! I am His masterpiece. More than that, He created me in His image. Jesus is wearing a body like mine right now. He has eyes, hair, skin, fingerprints. Jesus has his very own fingerprint. He is so beautiful. I am created in His image. 


Genesis 1:26-27 

"Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."


Wow. 


Psalm 139:13-18
"For your created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand- when I awake, I am still with you."


There is so much that I want to write out that I don't even know where to start!


When I began to paint, I knew what this painting was going to mean to me. I knew exactly what its purpose was. For me it was a reminder of His grace. I saw the whole picture in my mind before my brush touched the canvas. I pretty much knew where it was going to go when I got finished with it too. 
When God created me, He knew all of that and more. He created me. He knit me together. He saw my unformed body... just like  saw the blank canvas. I don't think that it is a coincidence that verse 16 says "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." God put those two independent clauses together for a reason. I thought me up before he put his brush to the canvas. He planned it all out. His thoughts are precious. 


I am overwhelmed at the thought of that. 


I said that the next thing I want to paint is an expression of the fire and love in Jesus' eyes. After my mind was blown by God being the creator of creativity, I asked, "Jesus, what do your eyes look like? Can I see your eyes?" (It's a crazy question I know... but I've been praying crazy prayers lately.) 


That's when I realized He has real eyes, just like me. 
Jesus, The savior of the world has eyes like mine. Are they blue? Green? Brown? I don't know. But I know he has real eyes. 
That's when it hit me. We are made in His image. He is a man. I can see a glimpse of His eyes when I see his children's eyes. Eyes of love and acceptance. Eyes of passion and fire. Eyes that burn and heal at the same time. 


I have some pretty great, Christ-like people in my life that I can talk with about my failures, joy, dreams and desires... but I don't think I have ever looked them in the eye when telling them of my failures or secret dreams or the desires I have deep in my heart. I have feared what I would see in those eyes. I have feared that I would see disappointment, shock, disapproval, rejection, or scorn. But Jesus' eyes are filled with love and joy. Jesus Laughs. He smiles. Jesus looks at me with love and acceptance. If these people that I am able to talk to have his eyes, I should see those same things in their eyes. I have avoided them because of fear of rejection for so long. Because of this, I have likely missed out on seeing the acceptance, love and joy of Jesus in their eyes. Jesus uses his people to show his heart to the world. How much have I missed because I feared rejection from his people, an ultimately, from him? 


Back to that verse... His "EYES SAW my unformed body" and his thoughts toward me "outnumber the grains of sand."




Lastly,
When David sinned with Bathsheba, he told Nathan he sinned... but Nathan replied, "Yes, you have sinned, but God has forgiven you." So while David was beating himself up for his dumb choice, God had already forgiven him and was waiting for him to move forward. 
It is sometimes extremely difficult for me to forgive myself. I try to walk around in self condemnation. So much so that the enemy doesn't even have to try to get me to beat myself up... I just do. But today I re-realized that God Forgives. He doesn't hold my mistakes or sin over my head, waiting for me to mess up just so he can remind me how awful I am. He totally and completely forgives. He is waiting on me to forgive myself and move on though. He won't do anything until I get up out of the dust and push forward. I realize that my unforgiveness towards myself and my self pity is a major hinderance to my freedom and growth. It keeps me in the trap of the enemy... when Jesus has already set me free. 




Today was an intense day to say the least. :-) 

Only the Beginning

The broken glass glistens as the light touches the pile of glass on the floor. What once was a beautiful thing is now a pile of jagged pieces of glass, neatly swept together, a little hill of glass. 

I don’t know how long the pile of glass has been there, but I know that there are pieces of glass missing. There have been many failed attempts at putting the glass back together. Many pieces are lost. There are many pieces that don’t belong. There is dirt from sweeping the pile together so as to not lose any more pieces. There is blood from trying to hold on too tightly and from trying to put it back together. 

Glass, dirt, and blood.

I hear a voice say,

 “Give the pile of glass to me, I can fix it.” 

I quickly jump in front of the glass pile and begin to reason with the voice. 

“No, I can fix it myself. 

It’s not a big deal. 

It’s just a dumb pile of glass. 

Broken, beyond repair.” 

Once again, the voice gently says, 

“I love your brokenness. 

Give the broken glass to me, let me make it new.” 

I whimper,  “No. I don’t want you to have it. 

I don’t want you to see it. 

I don’t know what you will find. 

I know all too well what you will find. 

No.

I have failed so bad. 

No. 

It’s not good enough for you. 

No. 

It’s too bad, too ugly. 

There are things missing. 

There are things that shouldn’t be there. 

No.” 

The voice gently replies, 

“Give it to me, I want to see it. Let me have it.”

“No.”

“Jesus, I want to be free. 

I am tired of being in this place. 

I am sick of this area of sin in my life. 

Jesus, Forgive me. 

Set me free.”

Jesus replies, “You do not get to pick your sin. 

You cannot choose what I set you free from. 

It is all or nothing.”

“But Jesus, I am so desperate for freedom in this ONE little area!”

“I don’t work that way. 

I want it all. 

Let me have the broken glass. 

I want to see and touch every piece of brokenness. 

I want you to show me it all.”

“Jesus, that terrifies me. 

It is not pretty.”

“...........”

“Jesus…  

I will show you it all if you help me.

I know what is in that brokenness… 

I know that I cannot do this without your help. 

I am so desperate for freedom though. 

I will do whatever it takes.”

His hand picks up a shard of glass… 

“Jesus, I am so sorry for that one, I know that it is something you gave me that had great value. 

Look what I did to it! 

It’s broken. 

I am so sorry.”

The hand grips the shard of glass and drags it across the other hand, 

“My blood is enough for this.”

I grimace as Jesus looks down and picks up another shameful, jagged piece of glass. 

He slides the sharp edge along the palm of his hand and says, 

“My blood is enough for this.”

I begin to weep as he continues to do this with each piece of glass that represents things in my life.

“My blood is enough for this.”

“My blood is enough for this.”

“My blood is enough for this.”

I can’t believe what I am hearing.

He continues,

“My blood is enough for this.”

Blood drips from his hands. 

His blood covers the glass where my blood once was. All the years of clinging to the glass, of not wanting to let anyone see the mess, where I was wounded from holding on so tightly… 

His blood ran down.

“My blood is enough for this.”

“Daughter, don’t you see, my blood is enough for your brokenness. 

My blood is enough for your sin. 

My blood is enough for you.”

This is only the beginning. I don’t know where he is taking me. But I know this, His blood is enough for me. I will gladly follow him on this adventure.

Totally surrendered.

There is more to all this, but this is all that I will write for now. Jesus showed me what he did with the dirt and the pieces that didn't belong there as well. It was all equally powerful. I wept through all three visions. I cry every time I think about them. I am excited for what is to come. 

Jesus, help me to trust you more. Give me grace to love you rightly Lord. 

In progress...

There was a little girl named Leehi*. She loved her father very much. She loved to see him smile. His smile was warm and could be felt from miles away. She loved to hear his laugh. His laugh would fill the room with joy. She found great satisfaction in serving him. She would have given anything to make him happy and see him smile. Leehi and her father had an amazing relationship. She enjoyed talking with him. She told him everything. They would laugh and play. Leehi loved it when he picked her up and twirled her around. Nothing could separate them. The bond they had was strong.
As the years went on, Leehi began to grow older and made more friends. She still loved her father, but she loved her social life too. She wanted to explore the world. She was curious about what all life had to offer. She decided to pack her bag and set off on an adventure. She explored many countries of the world. She loved her new friends and all the fun things they introduced her to. She enjoyed staying out late and trying new things. Her friends led her to many new places. She began to try things she had never experienced before. Things that she knew her father wouldn't approve of. The kind of things she had been warned about by her father. She knew it was wrong, but she thought,

 "Oh, I'll just do it this once. It's not a big deal. What could it hurt anyway?" 

She soon learned how wrong she was to think that.  

She was quickly sucked in to these new, bad things. She found her self addicted and alone. Her friends left her. She had no one to turn to. 

So she hid. 

Alone.

Scared.

Addicted.

Lost.

She thought back to her childhood. When she felt safe. 

When she was loved.

She remembered dancing with her father. 

She missed him.

Yes. She missed him more than words could describe.

"How could I ever go back?"

"I have messed up so bad." 

"I don't even look the same."

"I am dirty."

"I left him...even after he warned me... I still did all these things."

"He is disappointed in me."

"How could he not be disappointed in me?"

"Look what I have done..."

"Maybe he will give me one more chance... maybe..."

"I don't know if I even remember the way back home though..."

These are the thoughts that flooded her mind. Day after day. Finally she got up the nerve to try to journey back home to her father. Fearing that he might never love her again, she anxiously made her way back home. She knew that all she had to do was knock and her father would let her in... but would he love her? She decided that she would do whatever it took to make him love her again. 

When she saw her father, tears streamed down her face. 

He embraced her. 

He spun her around. 

He held her.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks.

He cleaned her up.

Gave her new clothes.

He smiled at her.

Would it last?

After she told him all the things she did, would he still smile at her?

Days went by. Leehi and her dad spent time together. He told her how much he missed her. How glad he was for her to be back. He told her he loved her.

She didn't believe it.

After all she had done, how could he love her?

So she began to work.

She labored day in and day out. She did everything she knew how to do plus more. 

She strived to make him happy. She wanted to give him the best she could.

She worked.

And worked.

And worked.

She tired herself out.

But kept working.

All the while her father just wanted her. He just wanted to be with her. He loved HER. Yes, her working was helpful, but that's not what he was pleased with. He may have had his daughter back... but he still missed her. He missed the times they had once shared. He missed her being delighted in him. He missed being able to just lavish his love on her. She wouldn't let him. He saw that she felt she was unworthy of his love. He knew the weight of the guilt she carried and it broke his heart. Wanting her to realize who she is, he wrote her a letter. When he was finished, he folded the letter and put it in an envelope and placed it on her pillow.

That night, as she lay down to sleep, she found the letter. She opened it and through tears she read...

Daughter,

You have been mine from the beginning. I have always loved you. 

I have seen you grow. I have seen you learn. Yes, you have made mistakes. But you are not the sum of your mistakes. 

You are beautiful. You are mine. I love you. 

I don't want your efforts. I don't want your work.

 I want you.

Don't you know who you belong to?

 Me.

 Nothing can change that. 

You can do the most horrible things in the world and I will still love you. 

Nothing will change my love for you.

 Stop carrying the guilt. Stop trying to gain my approval.

Just rest. 

Take a break. 

Sit with me.

I miss you. 

Your name says it all. YOU ARE MINE. 

There is nothing you can do to change that. Stop trying to earn my love.

It is impossible for me to love you any more than I do right now.

I will never leave you. You don't have to strive to make me pleased with you... I am already absolutely in love with you. 

You please me more than life itself. 

You give me great joy.

I delight in you.

Stop working. Just be with me. 

I don't want your work.

I want you.

I love you. 

-Daddy

 That weight was lifted from her shoulders as she realized how much her father really did love her. She ran to him. She forgot about being tired. She knew that perfect rest was in her father's arms. She melted into his arms and wept. He held her close and whispered, "I love you just because you are mine."

*She is mine


How often do I try to prepare a gift for God when all he really wants is me? I am so guilty of trying to work for his approval. I don't understand why I think that his love can be earned. I know it can't, but I still find myself working for him rather than simply loving him.
Jesus, help me rest knowing that you love me because I am yours. Help me find a balance between serving and loving. You are not my soccer coach. You will not kick me off the team if I can't "get it right." You are not my employer. You are my husband. You just want me.