Sunday, March 17, 2013

Wedding Bells and Beautiful Dreams

I am a blog reader, through and through. I can spend hours in the evenings just reading blogs written by people that I don't know from Adam. It's in these blogs that I am able to momentarily see into the vulnerable heart of the blogger, and in seeing their heart, I see into mine. 

I have read many blogs women have written over the past few years that sound kind of like this:

For years I clung to the idea that my life would follow the pretty timeline of events I had planned out in my mind. In middle school I dreamed of going to get my learner's permit the day I turned 15. In high school I dreamed of graduation and moving out of my parents' house to go away to college. When I was 19 I had it all planned out. I would be in a serious relationship by 23, married by 25, and I would have my first kid by 26. Then I woke up on my 25th birthday and realized that life hadn't gone the way I planned. All my dreams were shattered, and I sat on the floor in my room (in my parents' garage) and yelled at God. I told God how unfair He was and decided that if He didn't care enough about me to get me a husband while I waited on Him so patiently for all those years, then I would just take matters into my own hands and find a husband myself. 

Usually, these blogs end up having some kind of cool revelation and the woman realizes that God was waiting for her to surrender her dream of marriage over to Him the whole time. This usually comes about by her heart being shattered into a billion pieces and several bottles of wine and boxes of chocolate being downed to drown her emotions.

I decided tonight that 3 years from now, I don't want to be that woman. I don't want to wake up and realize that the dream I have been clinging to isn't going to happen in the timeline that I want it to, and end up shipwrecked on some island of loneliness and depression for 6-9 months before I wake up and realize that God writes the best love stories.
How do I practically ensure that doesn't happen?
I have no earthly idea.
I think a place that I can start is to daily choose to let Him write my story.
Friends, you can't get much more single than I am right now. But friends, this is the perfect place to be to best let God write my story.
Will I be married at 25?
I don't know.
Will I ever get married?
Well, it's definitely a desire of my heart, and the Word says to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I am trying my best to live life as a woman who delights herself in the Lord. So, yes, I think that one day I will marry.
Even if I don't.
Even if I die as an old wrinkly, single cat lady... (And I don't like cats)
God. Is. Still. Good.
He is my beloved.
I will die the bride of Christ.
And that my friends is the best kind of bride to be.