Saturday, February 11, 2012

I hate the wait

There is nothing I dislike more than waiting.
...waiting in lines at walmart...waiting in traffic...waiting on someone who is running late...waiting on the phone call to tell me if I got the job or not...
Waiting stinks!
The worst part about waiting is that many times you don't know when the wait is going to be over.

That's where I am right now in life. Waiting. And I don't know when the light is going to turn green.
I feel like every area of my life is just ...waiting.
I like knowing what is going on, but right now I think the Lord is just bringing me to a new place of trust in him. I have to trust that He has it all under control. He is not going to allow me to miss the deadline. Even though I don't have any idea what that deadline is right now.

There is so much that I want to do. I just want to busy myself. I know that busy-ness is not the answer for me. I know that this time of waiting is so important. It is stretching me. It is teaching me to rely on the Lord.  But it is SO HARD.

Jesus, help me to embrace this season. Help me to just be still and know that you are God. Help me to wait.

Friday, February 3, 2012

In 19 minutes...

I only have 19 minutes left on my laptop, and I don't want to go get my charger out of my book sack. However, I do want to process though my day. :)
I oversee the world's greatest interns at my clubs. They are Excellent in every way! They are always on time (even when I'm not! Oops!). They always are prepared to share with their kids. They are willing to do whatever it takes to see the schools reached. They are great!

One thing that the Lord has convicted me on recently is that I have been clinging on to my three schools. I want so desperately for the students there to encounter the Lord and be changed by Him that I have gotten in the way. The Lord told me pretty directly the other night that in order for Him to move, I had to take a step back. I am so prone to try to hold on to and control the things that I care for the most. This is human nature. To hold and protect what we love. However, in my desire to protect the schools, I have completely "protected" them from the Lord. And we all know that that equals damage, not protection. This week I have had to take a few leaps back and just let go. I had to say "God, You have totally say over what goes on at these three schools. You love the students there even more that I do. You desire for them to encounter you more than I could ever imagine. You know how to get them to that place too. I don't have to keep going with trial and error when I let you have the seat of control. You are good and you have their best interest at heart."

I was filled with a deep thankfulness for the interns who are serving at these schools today. They are so rad! We could not have the impact that we do with out them. Thank you Lord for people who serve you willingly. They are living out "Your kingdom come. Your will be done"
That's what this is all about. Having HIS will be done in our life to further HIS kingdom.

All of this is for His glory. Every single thing that we do is for His glory. It's not about me.
I love John Tillman music.  The song Humble Me is really the cry of my heart right now.
When I was in middle school, he was the worship leader at the church I went to. He has an incredible gift to bring people into the presence of God. I could listen to him play all day long! :)

Lately, I have been seeing a lot about myself. Good and not-so-good. I have been learning a ton about what it really means to be a leader, and how to more effectively lead. As I am getting ready for my trip to India this summer, I think the Lord is really beginning to weed a lot out of my heart.
Wrong motives.
Leading out of insecurity.
Leading out of my flesh.
It's been pretty intense, but sooo good!

Tonight I got to chat with one of the girls going to India with me this summer. She is so cute. The love that she has for the Lord blows me away. She truly wants to please him with everything she does. She is super talented... Piano, dance... Reminds me a lot of myself at her age! :) She keeps a blog as well. I have been challenged by some of the stuff she has shared there even. She's pretty legit! I look forward to getting to serve along side of her in India this summer!

Tomorrow, I go get fingerprinted for a position that I would love to have if it's God's will. :) Then I am going to meet my parents in Alabama. :) Fun road trip for a day!

Well, I am exhausted and need to be up in a couple hours... and my laptop is just about dead! :) Perfect timing.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dreaming of India

I have been dreaming about India lately. I'm working on raising money for my trip this summer. It has been so cool to see how God totally is making this happen. From the very beginning when He said for me to go to India, to the selection process to be a Team Leader, to now... watching Him provide the money needed for my trip. He has always been faithful. 

In my readings today I was reading John 1. (Read it for yourself here.) 
You know how there are some passages or scriptures that are just over quoted? Well, John 1:1 is that for me. But today it really came alive for me. 
verses 4-5 made me think about India...
India is a beautiful nation, consumed with poverty, hopelessness, and false gods. Everyday, millions of people in India wake up and worship over 330 million gods who do not love them and cannot hear or help them. However, I serve the One True God who is pictured in John chapter 1. He is the God who gave life to everything and His life brought light to everyone. India is a nation filled with deep darkness, but I believe that the light is going to begin to shine in that darkness and nothing will every be able to extinguish it. 

I am overwhelmed each time I think about how God became man. Fully man. He is the lamb of God. The one who paid the price to take away the sin of the world. He paid the price so that we can be his children. Salvation is free for us, but it cost Jesus everything. 

Here is the verse that I am holding on to today- Psalm 2:8 "Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, the whole earth as your possession." 
I'm not only asking for India, yes, I expect great things to happen there this summer, but I am asking even more for Denham Springs. I want to see the walls fall down at Denham High. I want to see the high school students realize how much they need a savior. I want them to encounter the cross in a way like never before. So God, I am asking for Denham Springs. :)