Trust Without Borders

At the beginning of this year, I heard Papa tell me that he was taking me to a place where my trust would be without borders. There have been many times in this season where I have sat back and said, "Yeesh! God, you weren't kidding!" I have lost count of the number of times that I have looked to my Father and said, "I trust you, that's all I can do here".

Here I sit again.

Abba, I trust you. 

I don't know what you are doing, but I trust you.

Trust

A belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.

An assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

One in which confidence is placed

Dependence on something future or contingent: Hope

A charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship

Something committed or entrusted to one to be used r cared for in the interest of another

Care, custody

A hope is more than resolve, and it is based on trust in a divine faithfulness that operates not only within history, but also beyond history.-John Polkinghorne

I told Abba that I trusted wholly and completely. Tonight I sit here and that "Yes" to Him echoes. It rings loudly and clearly in my heart. I declare it loud and proud once again. YES.

I do not doubt the goodness of my Father.

Not too long ago I did. I knew He was good, but my heart was overwhelmed and I grew afraid and doubted, as Peter did when he saw the waves. I feared and panicked as the disciples did when their little boat was taking on water and the Master was sleeping peacefully.

But I have seen time and time again the faithfulness of God. I have looked upon the the faithfulness of a really good dad. So while I do not know what He is doing or how He is going to provide in this situation, I know that he will provide. I know that He can be trusted.

I do not regret a single step I have taken with my Father.
I do not regret a single time that I have trusted.
That I have relied.
That I have depended.
That I have said "yes".

He has never once let me down.

He has never once failed to come through.

He has never left me unsatisfied.

Empty.

Lacking.

Wanting.

Alone.

He always comes through.

He always amazes.

He always is faithful.

He never gets tired of providing.

He never gets bored with me.

He never refuses to come through.

He never breaks a promise.

I will say "yes" every day for the rest of my life.
No matter the circumstances.
No matter the sacrifice.
No matter what fear hangs over me.
No matter what popular opinion screams.
No matter what peers think.
No matter what family says.

I will say "yes" to my King because He cannot fail.
He is the only one who truly has my best interest in heart.
I have nothing to offer Him.
He does not benefit from anything that I do.
He has no selfish ambition.
He truly, completely wants my good.
My good brings Him glory.
Me thriving glorifies Him and points to His goodness and faithfulness.

My trust has no borders. There is nothing limiting it or enclosing it in. I trust Him in all areas.

Financially.

Emotionally.

Physically.

Relationally.

I am a zero resistance zone to His work in my life.

How can I trust Him in this way?

How can you trust Him in this way?

The Holy Spirit lives inside of me.
The Holy Spirit never doubts the goodness and faithfulness of God.
The Spirit inside of me trusts wholly.
I trust wholly.

I have seen His goodness in the land of the living (time and time again).
He doesn't change. Yesterday, today, and forever- He is the same.

Since He came through last time, He will come through again.
Since He was faithful last month when I needed a roommate, He will be faithful this month.
Since He provided when I needed a job in April, He will provide again.
Since He answered when I has no where else to turn, He will answer again.

My God does not change.

My God does not fail.

My God does not disappoint.

My God rests in the middle of storms.

I will join Him on that pillow below deck. I can hear the wind and the waves pummeling my ship; so I think it's time for a nap. 

The only storms you have authority over are the ones that you can rest in. 

I hate the wait

There is nothing I dislike more than waiting.
...waiting in lines at walmart...waiting in traffic...waiting on someone who is running late...waiting on the phone call to tell me if I got the job or not...
Waiting stinks!
The worst part about waiting is that many times you don't know when the wait is going to be over.

That's where I am right now in life. Waiting. And I don't know when the light is going to turn green.
I feel like every area of my life is just ...waiting.
I like knowing what is going on, but right now I think the Lord is just bringing me to a new place of trust in him. I have to trust that He has it all under control. He is not going to allow me to miss the deadline. Even though I don't have any idea what that deadline is right now.

There is so much that I want to do. I just want to busy myself. I know that busy-ness is not the answer for me. I know that this time of waiting is so important. It is stretching me. It is teaching me to rely on the Lord.  But it is SO HARD.

Jesus, help me to embrace this season. Help me to just be still and know that you are God. Help me to wait.

I believe, Help my unbelief!

God, You alone are in control. I know that I can do nothing apart from you. Even when my world seems to be spinning out of control, I know that you see. You know what is going on. You don't look me over. Even when I feel like I can't handle it, I trust you. I know that You know what is best. You don't let go. You don't sleep. You don't blink your eyes for a second. You know exactly what is going on and you can be trusted. I will not fear. I will not doubt. You are Creator. You are Yahweh. You are Good. I know that you are Good. You won't abandon your children. You see them. You know their pain. You see them. I know you see them. You move on our behalf. When your children cry out to you, you move. I know this. I have seen this. You have proven this. You can be trusted to do it again. I cling to you. You are the Faithful One. You are so faithful. You don't change. You love your children. You hear their voices. You hear their heart beat. I believe in you. I trust you. I depend on you. I will wait on you.

I believe God! Help my unbelief! 

I repent for not trusting you whole heartedly

I repent for thinking I can handle what comes my way

I repent 

Help me trust you

I believe you move at the sound of my voice

You see the lives of the girls that are in my lifegroup. You know what is going on. You can be trusted.

God, Forgive me for not trusting you with them. Forgive me for thinking that you weren't big enough to see their lives. You alone are wisdom. You have all the wisdom and insight necessary. Give me your divine wisdom. Help me to point them to you. You are the only one that can do anything. You are not my last resort. You are my first and only plan. You. You. You. God, You alone. I surrender. 

Safe in His Arms

This past week was spent at the beach in Destin, Florida. I spent much time in the sun, covered with tanning lotion. Thursday afternoon I was spending some time alone at the pool by the condo. I had been listening to worship, reading my Bible, and tanning. When I couldn't take the heat any longer, I retreated to the pool to cool off. There was a Mom and her little girl there swimming. The girl couldn't have been more than seven years old. She could swim well, but only when her mother was near by. Her mom said "Let's see you swim across the pool." The girl let go of the wall and began to swim across the open water. The water was only 4 foot deep where she was. Half way across the pool the little girl got tired and scared. She whimpered and fought to swim to the stairs where she could touch even though her mother was right beside her and all she had to do was reach her hand out and her mom would grab her. The loving mother grabbed her frantic daughter anyway and pulled her in.
I saw something beautiful in this moment. Something that I have seen in my life many times.
How often do we respond to the call of God and step out in faith only to get tired or frightened and struggle back to where we can touch. We swim for shore rather into the arms of our Father God. He can hold us safely. He won't let us drown. But still, we fight to swim to shore rather than swimming to His arms. Do we not trust that he can hold us? Do we fear that he will let us go. Do we think that he will be mad or disappointed that we can swim across on our own?
God knows that the water is deep. He knows that we can get tired. But He will never call us to go somewhere that he won't go with us. He will never tell us to do something that will harm us. He isn't disappointed when we call to him for help. He wants us to. He doesn't expect us to do it on our own. He wants to help up. He wants to hold us. He wants to guide us.
So why do we continue to swim to where we can touch when he has called us out to the deep with him? If we can touch, we don't need him. He wants us to go to the deep with Him so that we will cling to him.
God, help me to learn to cling to you alone.