One Year Later

A year ago today I cried myself to sleep... it had been the first full day without my little brother. Yesterday made a year that he has been in treatment. I'd like to say that it gets easier everyday, but that would be a lie. I miss him more than words can describe. I have no idea when he is going to be home. It's all up to him... when he makes enough progress. I am so proud of him though. He has really matured a lot. He has changed a lot. He is working so hard! We got to talk to him tonight. When he calls and I am home, I don't ever say much. Last Friday I talked some, but I always feel dumb when I encourage him or talk to him around my parents. It's really weird. And when I was talking to him Friday, mom kept whispering things that she thought I should say... like I wasn't doing a good enough job encouraging him. I finally just gave up and let her do the rest of the talking like always. The best conversations me and Justus have had have been when he would call my cell phone because I hadn't been at home in a while. It's those calls that we really get to talk like brother and sister. I think he is more honest then too. My brother is like my best friend.  We have a really neat relationship... It's different than what I have seen in others... Maybe because we have shared things like missions... or because we are a lot alike... Or maybe it's because we both know that had I not wanted a sibling so badly, mom and dad wouldn't have looked into adoption. He really is an answer to prayer. I remember when I was really really young, after having prayed every night for as long as I can remember for a little brother or sister, I told my mom that I was just going to stop asking God for one because I didn't think that God wanted me to have one. Mom of course encouraged me to keep praying. It wasn't long after that when my mom got a phone call saying a 3 month old needed a foster home. She immediately left work to get Justus. He's been mine ever since. We adopted him when he was 2... it was official. No one could take him away from me.

I think about my brother's adoption and I remember that...

Adoption is permanent.

Adoption is a choice.

Adoption is love.

Nothing can change that.

I remember when we were waiting for Justus' parents to release custody. His mom quickly realized that we were the best option for him and could take better care of him than she did. His dad was not as quick. His dad didn't want to release custody... He wasn't taking care of Justus. He didn't want Justus. He just didn't want us to have him. I know that with the life he was living, that he wouldn't have been legally allowed to keep Justus anyways... but he did put up a fight.

I think about adoption and I remember that...

Adoption is permanent.

Adoption is a choice. 

Adoption is love.

Nothing can change that.

We are adopted into God's family. God CHOSE me. We are children by choice. Nothing can separate us from God's love. Nothing at all. I think about my brother and the enemy doesn't want to relinquish custody of Justus. He is fighting hard. He doesn't want Justus. He just doesn't want him to be free. But the enemy has no right to Justus.

Justus IS

 free. 

 walks in honor. 

walks in righteousness. 

victorious. 

I am praying Isaiah 62 over Justus. 

I can't wait to get to see him this August! I am so excited!