Sunday, September 9, 2012

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Miss Joy, can I ask you a question?"
"Go for it." 
"Were you ever emo?" 
"... ummm.... what do you mean?"
"You know... Like were you ever full out goth and like cut yourself?" 

Jesus, Thank you for unexpected conversations.
"Well Sarah, to be honest, yes, I did."

"Oh. See these scars. I cut myself."
I was created for this type of work. 
I was created for these kinds of conversations.

"I started to carve the letters of my ex-boyfriend's name in my arm. I did it with a lead pencil because I wanted to get lead poison. I wish I could get rid of this scar, it reminds me of him. He was my everything. I gave everything to him. Everything. And he left me."

"What makes you want to hurt yourself, Sarah?"

"It helps me get the pain out."

Jesus, how can I show them you paid for them?

"Sarah, you are so valuable. It doesn't matter what a guy says about you. You have so much worth. Do you know that?"


"Miss Joy, how did you stop cutting?"

Jesus, You are so faithful.

"Miss Joy, will you come do a puzzle with me?"

"Sure Amy. Go pull it out, and I will be in there as soon as I finish this up."

Make my heart sensitive to your leading. 
May I never miss a chance to love. 

"I love doing puzzles. I used to do them with my Nanna all the time. My mom hates doing puzzles. She would never do them with me." 

"That's sad Amy, but I'm glad that it is something that you and your Nanna can do together. I'm sure she loves spending time with you."

"My Nanna was there for me through everything. I'm excited to see her on my home visit. I am going to see her and my boyfriend!" 

God opportunity.

"Amy, what is reason you have a boyfriend? You can't see him or talk to him when you are here."

" Well, he makes me feel loved. He holds me and hugs me and kisses me. He is always there for me. I love him. He was there for me when my mom wasn't. He was there for me when my mom's boyfriend beat me. I have been pregnant for him, and he was there when I miscarried because my mom's boyfriend beat me." 

Oh, my heart.
"Speak to her value."
"Tell her how loved she is."
Oh, my heart, beat with His heart.

Jesus, Thank you for trusting me with these pearls.
Help me to bring glory to You.
Help me to point them to You. 

There is no reason why I should have so much favor at my job. There is no reason for these girls to love me like they do. Who am I?
These girls have stolen my heart. They have so much potential. They have such beautiful, bright futures before them. They have been through so much. They need YOU Jesus. It is such an honor to be a part of their life. It is a privilege to get to point them to You. I don't take it lightly. 
Girls crying in my arms in the kitchen.
Random questions about my past (because I "look like someone who used to cut") on the basketball court.
Lessons on self worth and purity on the floor in the living room digging through the 1500 puzzle pieces.

Teach me how to love like You love me. 
Break my heart.
I will do anything if you lead me.
I will go anywhere if you go with me.

Refine me Lord.
Shine me Lord.
Make me gold.


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